Category: Coffee talk

Okay, so I think I’ve about hit my breaking point when it comes to some women and their P.D.R’s  (Public Displays of Ratchetness)…yes, the foolishness has bubbled over into the mainstream, and I am afraid that it won’t end there! Everywhere you turn, you can see evidence of wayward individuals losing their d*** minds in ways that will leave you cringing in pain, and catching face spasms, because you were side-eyeing soo hard. I felt compelled to chronicle the antics of all of the cousin Alize and Lysol’s out there– I have to! You all are driving me to drink!

1. Wearing sleep attire outside

Now, this offense has left me scratching my head many times, solely because I can’t think of a reason that one can use to justify this mess! Gimme one, and I’ll do the “Gator Dance” outside, buttnaked while holding an icicle…

There’s simply NO reason you should be out in the street with a scarf that you’ve been sweating in, dripping last night’s sleep spittle on, I’m sorry…not this TAHM. Oh, and let’s not forget the “hometraining: 101” dropouts who think it perfectly acceptable to walk out in your pajama pants!!!!!!!!!!! o_O …big mama should snatch yo simple behind back into reality with that foolishness, and throw in a switch or two on top it off. The only time people who commit this crime should get a pass, is if your house is burning to the ground, and all of your clothes where in the washing machine…that’s all.

2. Gurl that’s not your size aka denial

We see you standing in the department store ma’am, between the junior misses and petites, when you know your tail should be in the grown folks section. We all agree and know that beautiful people come in all shapes, sizes, ages and look fierce. However danggit, if I see another one of you ‘holding onto a dream’ tragedies out there, I’m going to hem you up, and pull an on the spot makeover right then and there.  If you’re 50, don’t dress like you’re 20; if you’re tall, don’t try to shrink your body into your little sister’s jeans! I won’t have it! STOP COMMITTING THESE CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY! I know that demi bra looks nice, but if you’re working with big guns, don’t put them in sling shots…same thing goes for panties! You know what I’m talking about, you ass decapitators.

3. Following ALL trends

Last year, a great catastrophe occurred when someone decided to be the first person to wear leggings, and made them popular. Lemme give you some insight on this one, just because it’s popular or a trend, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Not every look floating around out there is meant for EVERYONE. Leggings, half the head shaved off, daisy dukes, meat dresses etc. No hun…nah uh…so what you saw Jada wearing it, it don’t fit you boo! Let it go!

4. Maintenance

I know it’s hard out there. In between taking care of the kids, and maintaining the household, it’s very easy for us goils to fall behind with daily up keep of our persons. However, never in the history of the world should a lady step one pinky toe out of her house without basic hygiene approval. I mean c’mon sweetie, do I really have to tell you about a pumice stone? or a toenail clipper, especially if you’re going to don sandals!!!!!!!!!????? NO!!!!!!!!!! Some of you ladies are out there walking around like you’ve done a stint on the Flintstones, and starting the car with your feet! Oh heck naw…mayne! Fix dem hooves.

5. Your lace front is ALL wrong!

I wanna create a prayer circle for the sad individual who invented the lacefront wig, because your soul is in all kinds of danger, filled with darkness and despair. Who in the Sesame Street universe told you, you can fabricate this scalpofsin? Thousands of follically challenged women are strutting around like Kenya tahkinbout “I’m gone with the wind fabulous!”…uh, no you’re more like here with a breeze ratched. What’s even more tragic is that some of the flock are being bamboozled, led astray, run amok into thinking they can just get any ol rug and slap it on their heads! Nooooooooo….tumblr_inline_mfxa5iy8QB1qj6pum

6. White eye liner?…black eye liner for your lips?!

Yeah…okay. Leave that wet n wild makeup alone my dear. JUST SAY NO! I REBUKE YOU! While we’re on the subject of makeup, please for the love of all things sacred find foundation that matches your natural skin tone! The undead look is NOT cute…and what’s up with these ‘the rock’ eyebrows???? Nope, have a seat.

If I forgot anything, please lemme know! This is your P.S.A for the day.

WARNING: This blog post may contain moments of confusion, bewilderment and rant worthy paragraphs. However, I assure you, I’m a professional– I do crazy well.

To be honest, I’ve done a recap already of this year’s shenanigans ( did she really say that?), but I wanted to do a different take on it, basically giving my twisted, downright gritty, yelling at the tv spin on it all. As the year closes, I’m left with a bevy of questions–some of which I doubt will ever see the light of day. For one reason, I don’t think I want to reveal the depth of eccentricity I truly do have lingering around in my head like Lindsey Lohan, trying to dodge the paparazzi. However, there are others I’ve found myself scratching at the surface to uncover, because I REFUSE to go into yet another year toting this with me like Chicken George in Roots. So, excuse me while I air out some thoughts and conundrums, if I don’t, I’m pretty sure y’all will find me hugging my knees somewhere, tahknbout “Dey woat lemme be”.

1. Kanye West

Yes sir, Mr. Kantgetrite has let his crazy loose out onto the world this year in the form of leather chaps, a baby alive doll, and his book-a-gig appearances he has subjected us to as a form of purgatory punishment. He has gone from photo bombing his…”girlfriend’s” (Kimmy CowKakes Kardashian) “reality” show, to singing at the Juke Joint cameo spots with various keystone artists on various tracks that had evrybotty scratching their heads wondering…why?

Call it what you want, but you can’t deny Kanolysol really turned it up in these twelve months! From dressing his pet Kardashian in sad lil polar bear booties to prancing around in his glistening rawhide skirt, he has truly grated on my nerves this year. Good play sir, Good play.

2. Gabby (Gabrielle) Douglas

Okay honestly, I really didn’t tune in to the Olympics this Summer, because for one they were airing events that I had never even heard of, and were showing them on a thousand different channels at different times!

However, I did managed to catch all the nonsense and pure foolishhuhwatness surrounding Gabby Douglas, and the drama about her hair. For days, even weeks–even after London was left with a gaping hole in its center from the games, people still went on about how her do wasn’t did…what?! The girl was competing in an international event, garnering accolades, honors and medals– making history, and people decided to concern themselves about hair?! Yeah, have a seat somewhere, the bus shall come along for you presently. I swear the whole thing had me screaming at the television screen baying for the yaky weave hounds, because I was fuming; I bet you, those same individuals are sitting on the couch right now DVR’ing upcoming episodes of Real housewives of Love and Hip Hop.


3. Tributes

This year witnessed many famous personalities being called home to glory. From Whitney Houston, Sherman Hemsley, Donna Summer, Etta James, Michael Clark Duncan and many others, and one thing you can say about our people is the fact we salute our dearly departed in style. However, I had a problem with the selection of some of the musicians chosen to pay tribute to these icons. Firstly, I’ve a bone to pick with Jennifer Hudson…since when did she become a professional mourner? I’ll admit missy can sang–not sing, but saaannngg, but why is she the first one to be called whenever an award show wants to pay homage? Is she sitting by the phone waiting? Does she have a private line like a bat phone?? Who knows, but I’d like for her to sit one out. Just one.

4. The Presidential Debates

Lawd hunty chile I have never been so stressed out in all of my thirty-three years of life on this precious planet, than I was during this year’s debates. Every day since the campaign trail started, I’ve been in cold sweats, withdrawals, and irritable fits of rage– and that’s was just from the commentary alone! I don’t think I’ve ever swore as much during the Superbowl as I did during the first televised chitter chatter meet-up of President Obama and Mittens Romney. I was fidgety and anxious– yelling at my President to bob a weave, to stick and move! But no such luck. However, I can’t be too mad because I understood that my president was behaving like he was, my president, I couldn’t expect him to get all indignant and reckless on Mutton! But in my heart I wanted him to lay a UFC smack down on him. Oh, it eventually came in round two, but not before Joe “hit em up ” Biden laid waste to Motor’s page-boy Ryan. In fact, I don’t think I fully calmed down till after the election was over and done with and when it was….


5. Freaking Gangnam style plague

This whole summer was wrought with me clenching my ears in frustration, because it seemed like everyone on this watery globe was under the influence of the dang song. It was like a zombie outbreak! I’m quite sure that had a zombie outbreak occurred, the dead would’ve broke out into a flash mob of this debauchery. Fly, sly, ply…whatever his name is was EVERYWHERE! on talk shows, award shows; early morning television, mid-afternoon television, late night television…television! I couldn’t be rid of the glistening parody, and no one knew what he was taumbout anyway…oh lawd, I’ve the song in my head now. Ughhh…sexy lady.

6. Speaking of Zombies…

O.M.G how many of y’all have heard about “The Walking Dead”? If you haven’t you better get up on it, because that has to be one of the greatest shows on cable television right now…well in my opinion anyway. I simply ADORE this show with every fiber of being; I wanna have Daryl Dixon’s babies, I want to go out and buy a crossbow (Uh…maybe not), and start popping people in the butt. Okay, I really don’t need a zombie apocalypse for that to happen, but at least I wouldn’t have to lie about why I shot cha! Right?! The only caveat I have with the show is the fact the producers presumably have it out for the…darker skinned folk, simply due to the fact for every five episodes, one black character dies. If you were to average out the life expectancy of all of the black characters on the program in real life, it would pan out to about a week– month tops. Seriously, in fact the longest living black character on the show was dude from the first season (name escapes me now), and he had to leave the CITY! aka the sho altogether to make it! AMC don’t like black people! lol  I kid, I kid…at least they still have Michonne, so I can relax…a little.

7. One sentence. Honeybooboo chile. What?

8. Vaya con Dios Twinkie

I know I shouldn’t bring this up, especially when I know some of y’all may still be in mourning. However, when did y’all get all wonky in the head over Hostess? I mean, people were clearing out shelves like it was a natural disaster. You people, yes YOU…were twerking for these yellow clouds, scalping them on Ebay for hundreds of dollars, and for what? Just so you can say that you’ve got the last known piece of the confectionery crack in existence?! Wow.

9. Royal Pregnancy

Am I the only one in the world who didn’t care a smidgen once word got out Prince William finally put a bun in Kate’s oven? I still don’t care honestly, however I wish them  all the best. I’m just more upset that a poor nurse got caught up in the hoopla, and it cost her her life.

10. Mass Shootings

This year was marred with tragedy. We have seen shootings in Oregon, Arizona, Colorado, and now Connecticut– death of innocence through violence gaining ground everywhere you turned. Many times this year, I found myself losing hope for humanity, and I’m not sure if my faith will ever be restored, but I’m a patient person.

11. Another one word: YOLO


12. Doomsday Prediction

All year long I had to hear an insipid countdown, watch a marathon of “End of yo world” preppers, sit through a BS movie about the very same subject, and endure the onslaught of Facebook drivel about this supposed end of days foretold by the Mayans hundreds of years ago. I can’t fully illustrate the annoyance it brought about, because anyone with half a mind knew it was utter…manure! However, as with all sensationalistic topics, people ate it up like yesterday’s curry and threw in some peppermints as well. December 21, 2012…a date that I can’t scour from my mind! I wish I could, but I can’t…and guess what, if you haven’t noticed we’re still here! lol


May Tommy lee bless you with the eternal side-eye.

Well my people that be the end of dis herr rant, and I look forward to speaking with you all again next year!


Forgive and Forget? Not so fast.

The three faces of abuse

The three faces of abuse

So, apparently it’s the season of return of the battered ex’s. First it was Rihanna canoodling with Chris Breezy, whom for a lack of a better term, hockey checked her face not too long ago; then there is Ms. BBW Evelyn Lozada, whom endured “unnecessary roughness” from her husband Chad Johnson (of only a month) in the form of a head butt, only to turn around and recently show up in court with him, and drop the restraining order she filed against him.

This leads me to wonder, what’s with the “Stand by your man: Abusers edition”? I mean really WTF is going on? Growing up, I was always taught that if anyone put their hands on you, or threatens your safety in ANY way, that means immediate expulsion from my life and a call to the local authorities! Why aren’t these women getting the same message?

Unfortunately, abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it doesn’t even need the presence of bruises in order to make it real! And the pain goes must deeper than that of the scars.

a·buse  (-byz)

tr.v. a·bused, a·bus·ing, a·bus·es

1. To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: abuse alcohol; abuse a privilege.
2. To hurt or injure by maltreatment; ill-use.
3. To force sexual activity on; rape or molest.
4. To assail with contemptuous, coarse, or insulting words; revile.
5. Obsolete To deceive or trick.
n. (-bys)

1. Improper use or handling; misuse: abuse of authority; drug abuse.
2. Physical maltreatment: spousal abuse.
3. Sexual abuse.
4. An unjust or wrongful practice: a government that commits abuses against its citizens.
5. Insulting or coarse language: verbal abuse.
I guess I’m just trying to wrap my head around this nonsense, making sure that I pay close attention and it get it right. Needless to say I’m not quite there yet, because it all seems foreign to me in some way. On one hand, one should make absolutely sure you’re not “Victim Blaming”, absolving the abusers and vilifying the abused. However, where does it stem from?
There’s an epidemic invading the African-American community, invading our homes, churches, and our interpersonal relationships with one another. We’ve seem to have adopted a social acceptance for domestic violence against women, and worse, sometimes assigning blame to the female. The disease comes in the form of apathy towards the our women and children at the hands of grown men, whom assert themselves physically and psychologically on the helpless and those weaker than them. We’ve gone from blind acceptance to outright fervent support of known attackers. One case springs to mind, illustrating that very same fact, the case of R. Kelly and the allegations of his sexual abuse of minors. I still remember the outpouring from supporters in the days and weeks following the initial arrest, despite the fact, Mr. R-ruh Kelly was caught on VIDEO!!!! lemme give you dat one more gain…CAUGHT ON VIDEO! engaging in sexual acts with an underage girl. Many black women–shockingly and disheartening came to his defense, even to this day. They didn’t come to the rescue, because they had their doubts (not sure how can one have any doubts), but because of their “love” for his music– choosing to instead horribly claim the young girls “knew exactly what they were doing” and “the parents were just out to get a quick buck”, ultimately attributing their victimization to adolescent promiscuity. What?! Amazingly the black community has welcomed him back with open arms, essentially letting bygones be bygones, and who can forget the heinous murder/suicide crime of pro-footballer Jovan Blecher, who savagely shot girlfriend and mother of his 3-month old daughter, Kasandra Perkins, before shooting himself in the head. Reports have recently surfaced involving the alleged “cause” of the fatal argument. Apparently, the mother of Jovan Blecher has come out stating the reason the argument occurred was expressly due the fact Blecher’s paternity was in question!
I ask you, why is that relevant news? Why was it necessary to disclose that information? As if it somehow justifies his decision to murder. Again, the presence of victim blaming at its best. A psychology evident in the incidents of Evelyn and Rihanna as well. Remember how everyone immediately thought Rihanna must have provoked Chris Brown? Or that Evelyn’s poor choice in men is what led her to get pummeled?
However, how can one justify it when the victim goes back to their abuser? Does all sympathy go out the window then? Maybe it’s a case of Stockholm Syndrome, where for reasons unknown the attacker is loved by the attacked. The aforementioned women have with straight faces, and unwavering support, forgiven, and (in Rihanna’s case) taken back the men who disrespected them in such a way. Can blame be rightfully placed on them then? Again, I wonder.

What we’re tackling here is kyriarchy. In a country that has historically emasculated black men in the collective sense, through disproportionate sentencing, profiling, and lack of education and occupational opportunities, some black men feel the need to assert their authority against the only people that they feel they can – their women and children.

It’s their way of asking, “Ain’t I a man?” “Do I have the right to control anything or anyone?” “In this nation of white privilege, if my woman or child ‘disrespects’ me, don’t I have permission to physically show them who’s the boss?”


Being thought of a man, doesn’t include putting your hands on anyone weaker than you to “prove a point”. Abuse on anyone whether male, female, or child is morally reprehensible. Everyone deserves the right to be in charge of their own body and person.

In a study titled African-American Women and Violence: Gender, Race, and Class in the News, Marian Meyers gathers powerful data that proves silence and deflection in our community over issues of domestic violence are nothing new, writing:

A number of Black feminists have criticized the tendency within their communities to silence female victims of male violence while rallying around the men who abused them (hooks, 1981; Lorde, 1992; Richie, 1985; Smith, 1992). Lorde (1992) notes that the need for racial unity has made Black women ‘particularly vulnerable to the false accusation that anti-sexist is anti-Black’ (p. 500).

There have been numerous studies which show that black women, and women of color are disproportionately the inheritors of abuse. However, it is women who will point the finger, saying “well she must deserve it, because she’s staying!”, thus taking the power away for the violated and giving it to the violator. However, we whom are on the outside looking in, should be more sympathetic to the psychological well-being of those involved, because it is their life’s story which we do not know, and may never understand. The first lesson children get on relationships, and the social dynamics of them come from the home and from their parents; if the foundation is toxic, then their reasoning of it will be also.
We must try to find a way to teach, instead of preach or the cycle will never end.

Where’s the “goodwill” to ALL men?

As I sit here, listening to the news reports of yet another mass shooting in America, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by a WTF? mentality right now. Presently, the world has gotten barbaric and animalistic– leaving one to wonder “Have we lost our humanity?” looking at the various events occurring all over the world now, one would have to assume so. All this does is make me want to give up on people. Entirely. I can’t, I just can’t wrap my brain around the senselessness of it all; I’m not even going to try to be all intellectual and provoking in this piece. I just want to crawl in a hole and scream, because I know no matter how much I want to rally the troops in an effort to try to rectify the situation, I know it’ll only fall on deaf ears. Even now on socConnecticut Elementary School Copes After Shootingial media sites, we’re witnessing the prostration of false sincerity from millions of individuals, whom what to “chime” in on the sensationalism of it all. Why? Many are politicizing, preaching, protesting, and whatever appellation you may what to add to it all. However, at the end of the day, all one can do it shake their heads, feel helpless, and weep whether outwardly or inwardly.

Today, Americans had to hear of the tragedy which occurred in Newtown, Connecticut, where a gunman entered into an elementary school and proceeded to methodically shoot and assassinate twenty-seven innocent people, eighteen of those victims being children. Beings whom had their WHOLE entire lives ahead of them, little souls who will never get the chance to grow up, to marry and one day have children of their own. I’m disgusted!!!! How does this happen? How do we as a society allow for this to go on? Not to see the signs of mental illness in the individuals whom commit these heinous crimes. This brings to mind Stanley Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange”– a cinematic depiction of the degradation of modern society as seen through the malicious and savage behavior of its central character, Alex. One has to think, are we the reason these events are taking place? I think on some level we are, so to speak. We’ve forgotten that being human isn’t just a species classification, but an emotional mindset. We’ve become automatons– lacking feelings towards one another– looking only at our own gratification and the safety of personal possessions, never mind our fellow-man. Never have I felt ashamed to be an eyewitness to suffering on this level, especially when it happens to children. Believe me when I say my heart’s heavy at this time, and regardless of your belief, we should ALL hang our heads and pray for those whom we’ve lost to violence. It’s funny, we expect death during natural disasters, old age, and disease– deaths from this are easier to process and understand, however how does one comprehend when death comes at the hands of another? The prevention of it all is what grips at my soul the most, because GOD created us all, we are interconnected in some way, and to even envision a moment where hate can be displayed like this! sinks into the pit of my stomach. I can almost hear the sorrow in heaven as I typed this out.

Where do we go from here? How does the human race proceed from this moment on? Especially when our own future generations are now under siege! Do we hide? or shutdown?

During this time of holiday good tidings, where the world is supposedly joined in fellowship, peace and “love” I shake my head at the hypocrisy of it all.
Again, I’m not going to even be so bold as to try to be eloquent. I’m just going on pure and raw emotion. Children should NOT have to mature before their time, before they’re ready. A child should NOT have to be a chronicler of death and destruction– to see such horrors with their young eyes. I mean I don’t even want to turn my eyes to see it myself.

Sigh…even though my spirit has been shaken, my faith has not. With the uncertainty of these times, I still will have hope, in the heartbreak of the world, I still press on and hold steadfast in the thought that one day, we as a people, as a society and as a global family will get it together.

I leave you all with this…Please hug your loved ones tonight; tell them just how much they mean to you, hold them close, because you do not know whether the next time you’ll have that opportunity will come again.

Another new year approaches, but before all the confetti has been swept, the liquor guzzled, and the hangovers commence, let’s do a year’s recap of  all the excitement, tragedy, foolishness, and oh hell naw that occurred in 2012.

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Well, well, well Jamie Foxx’s hosting SNL tonight, and guess what?! He’s slinging his side gig movie– hoping y’all will help him feed his daughter, also can you spare some duckets for Quentin as well? However, I’m leaning more towards Foxx, because he’s the ONLY one that I’m seeing getting all QVC with this film! Not even a Dicaprio sighting. NOTHING!

I feel they’re under attack from the IRS, and that a** is finna to have to walk the strip! lol either that or they’re trying to put us all under the spell of this movie.

ogvibes:kidxforever:theoddmulatto:julianplowden:I remember this They tried to convince Uncle Phil he was in a dreamThat’s not Uncle Phil though … … . . ^nigga thats not uncle phil , thats rick rosses older brother , Nick rosslmfao, hell yea ^ lolol Nick Ross.GO HOME TUMBLR DAMMIT!!!! I QUIT YOU TODAY!!!!!

You know you want to see Djaaannngggooo….gooooo…seeeeeee…DJANGOOOOOOO!!!!!!


I’m sure you all by now have heard of the bizarre story of staff sergeant Terry Achane, 31, whose daughter was secretly given up for adoption by his estranged wife, Tira Bland, 27, without his consent while he was while he was stationed in South Carolina. For days, we heard the events of what lead up to the controversy; all parties have told their sides of the story, interviews have been booked, and I’m sure t.v. shows will be in the works if they’re not already. I’m sure the first thought that comes to many people’s mind is “How can something of this nature occur?” “How does someone get away with doing something like this? I know I’ve asked myself those exact same questions, along with many others as the initial story unfolded, and more as new details were being brought to light.

In late 2010,  Achane accepted a position as a drill instructor at South Carolina’s Fort Jackson and was ordered to report for duty no later than Feb. 1, 2011. Achane and the girl’s mother, Tira Bland, soon began having marital problems shortly thereafter and she grew concerned that she would become a single mother with two children; Bland then suggested the couple either pursue an adoption or an abortion, both of which Achane rejected. After considering a move to South Carolina, Bland later told Achane she wished to stay in Texas with her relatives for the birth of their daughter. Achane had planned to return for the birth, with the new family joining him in South Carolina afterward.

Birth mother Tira Bland

Bland would later proceed with an adoption, according to the judge’s ruling, contacting the Adoption Center of Choice, which brought Bland to Utah to give birth. According to experts, Utah’s adoption laws are less strict than other states. Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute said:

“For whatever reasons, Utah’s laws appeal to people who want to get it done quick, rather than people who want to get it done right.”

Two weeks ago a judge ordered Jared and Kristi Freis to return the toddler, who turns two in March, to her birth father within 60 days. The Freis’ appear ready to fight for custody of the little girl they have raised since birth. In a statement to ABC News, their attorneys say:

“They [Jared and Kristi] believe the district court made some fundamental errors in its decision and they will raise those with the appropriate appellate court.”

Achane says he will do “what it takes” to keep his daughter. The next hearing is set for Jan. 16, 2013 to discuss the transition of the child.

ABC News reached out to the birth mother Tira Bland, but she did not respond.

Birth father, Terry Achane with daughter Teleah

Now, I have SEVERAL questions about this story, and I’m going to vent them out, so I suggest those whom have an aversion to rants divert your vision now, it’s okay, I’ll wait….

We’re good? Okay so, as I’ve said I’ve questions and concerns about this whole thing:

1. Why did Bland feel the need to secretly proceed with the adoption? Was Achane abusive? Did he display any ill will towards her and her other child? What was the history between the two of them? Something’s just not sitting right with me, and as they say in the south “That dog don’t hunt”. I’m not passing judgment; I’m just going off of what Ms. Bland has stated (in her own words), and nowhere in any of her statements did she give any indications as to the father’s inability to provide for his child. If that were the case, that should have been the first thing she should have addressed, and proven in a court of law. The whole thing reeks of shadiness.

2. Where was the adoption agency’s discretion in allowing this to happen? Even if the mother was creditable, for legal protection, they should have investigated her claims. Basically, crossing their T’s and dotting their I’s essentially.

3. How come the adopting parents didn’t double-check?! I would’ve covered my ass in a heartbeat if that were me, and immediately asked about the father! No one asked for documented evidence of ANY of this!!!! o_O

Uh…I’m gonna need to see some proof.

4. Tira Bland claims that Terry Achane wasn’t providing any income for her and her child, accusing Achane of abandonment. Uhh…okay, so if he did abandon you, why did he ask for you to come to South Carolina with him????? Hmmm…sure does sound like someone who wants to get rid of you.

5. Again, this is for the adoptive parents, why would you prevent a parent who’s obviously showing desire to raise his child, the chance to do so? I understand you’ve had this wonderful baby for months, and have grown to love her as your own, but unless you have irrefutable proof of neglect and mistreatment from said parent! Step aside, and give him the opportunity to do be what he is, her father; with many black children being raised without their fathers, don’t add one more to the list.

6. Did no one in Ms. Bland’s family advise her as to how much trouble she could face if she proceeded with such a plan? Where was the sense of reason in all of this????????? Are we (black people) going back to the barter system? I’ll give you my child if you give me etc? It kills me to see ish like this amongst my people. Ms. Bland’s claiming that she” wanted a better life for her daughter”  and that “she would rather see her struggling with her, than to see her with him” But you were willing to abort the very same child you now claim to love through tears on national tv? Parenting starts at the moment of conception…and we saw just how motherly you were. Again, not judging, just stating facts….hmm.

I don’t condone abortion as a means of contraception, because if you were adult enough have sex you should be adult enough to raise that child; nor do I agree with abandoning your children either. I see a gradual extermination of the black race through these means– children being sentence to a life of torment, only to become fractured adults, because they had to endure a childhood without both parents. We have to do better my people, we have to stop condoning this behavior; nipping the cycle in the bud, beginning with our children, and our choices we make as their parents, elders, and mentors!

I still have hope, I haven’t given up on us yet.

You’ve heard of the old adage “Curiosity killed the cat”? Well, this is one time I wished I wasn’t going through one of my “bored/research” phase, because the devil is a LIAR!!

Why do I say this? I say this, because as I was doing some research for my Facebook fan page, I stumbled upon a tumblr site called “That plate”. A virtual cornucopia of people’s culinary talents aka mishaps, oh good lawds, and WTHs! all on the plate… Where’s this been all of my life?! I live for comedy like this! Although, I’m pretty sure that the individuals who uploaded their “masterpieces” never envisioned their pictures would land on a website like this. Oh the shame! tee hee. After a moment or two of scrolling through these images of death and destruction, one picture caught my eye and made me clutch my pearls. It was a picture from Lil Scrappy’s twitter account.

I rebuke you Satan! Get thee behind me!

I can hear my grandmother now “Oh Bless her heart!” Well, at least something’s getting blessed, because this plate needs all the benediction it can get. If you’re wondering what clump of damnation is that in the corner, well your guess is as good as mine…I mean that. However, I’m not ev’em mad at him though for standing by his woman, and if Erica happens to read this, I hear by offer up my services to give her some lessons, because I can’t let a sister go down like this. Man down! Man down! Cuz it’s 187 on my stomach!

Sigh, I guess the struggle continues.

She looks to you as the first man in her life.


So, I just finished watching a re-broadcasting of BET’s “Black Girls Rock”; I must say that the experience left me feeling a little uplifted, but sad at the same time. I’m sadden, because deep down I know the message would end up lost, like some wonderfully written letter forgotten at the bottom of some dresser drawer– ignored. It got me wondering, do our black girls TRULY know that indeed they do rock? Do they know their self-worth, and the power they possess?

If you were to go by the programs sweeping the media today you wouldn’t feel so sure. In the world of Basketball wives, The Real Housewives of wherever or Love & Hip Hop and their popularity, you would think the next generation of black females are learning to hate themselves; to set their self-worth at a lower rate than that of their other female counterparts of different races. Gone are the days where Chaka Khan sang about being every woman, or Aretha, who demanded respect! Where are Donnie Hathaway songs or the sounds of James Brown who sung about their love for black women? Where are they? Do we need to put a flier out and APB? Long missing are the songs of my childhood, and the generations before which glorified women! Now, in their place, are songs which neither revere or celebrate the female, but denigrate and malign our existence. Everyday our girls listen (and see) how their sex isn’t worth anything more than just to be ogled at and lusted after. It’s a constant battle to instill value in our daughters. Unfortunately, many young girls are being forced fed the notion that they were born to a gender that has nothing to offer, expect ONE thing. Now, I can’t put the blame solely on hip-hip– in fact I used to love hip-hop as a child, but as I grew up, hip-hop and I grew apart. We went our separate ways, and I let it keep the house and the car. Interestingly enough, there have been a few trickle of songs in my day that didn’t paint a very nice picture of the lady regal; I knew it, but I’m happy to say that foolishness didn’t go down in my house. My parents wouldn’t allow it. My mother and my father made sure that their children weren’t brainwashed with garbage. However, not all girls are as fortunate as my sister and I were. However, where do our girls today go to have a strong foundation of self-esteem? In the above mentioned shows, if you ever heard an interview, the one commonality, the one strain which has an undercurrent to all of them, is the absence of having a father in their lives. In many ways the divine feminine image has been traipse through the mud, and define by the hyper-sexualized male ideology of what women SHOULD look like… The big booty girls, all shined up and shipped out for the wagging tongues of over-sexed men. I’m not saying all men are  like this, but some are, and the ones who do display this behavior are the exact same ones who are front and center for our children to see.

I for one, count myself fortunate enough to have a positive male in my life– my father, who never ceased to instill in me all of the values that I have today. It is because of how my father treated my mother, is the direct cause of why I have a HEALTHY…let me give that one to you again, a healthy perspective on how male and female interpersonal relationships should be, and I’m equipped with the necessary tools to spot the BS– the red flags if you will. The evolution of gender play has changed over the years,  women have become more independent and more self-reliant, even though I’m sitting up here and advocating the role of father in our kids lives, a lot of men out there have given us women no choice but to step up and be BOTH parents. However, our responsibility, and I’m talking to my ladies here. We need to really start being selective in who we allow to become the father of our children. As a woman, I can’t speak enough on how the father/daughter dynamic can immensely influence the life of that young lady.  When a girl grows up without that positive reinforcement she will get her cues from the world outside; incorporating those images into her psyche and using it as a guideline on how she relates to the world at large, thus defining her womanhood.

Now before, I get angry email from single mothers, let me stress the fact that I’m not saying that being a single parent will be detrimental for your child– not in the least bit. However we have to ask ourselves, why are so many of our children growing up in fractured households? When do we say enough is enough? We as women need to ensure that our choices in potential mates doesn’t result in our children having daddy issues, especially our daughters who will be future mothers one day.

When a female child is raised in a household where a (positive) male figure is actively in her life, her self-image improves greatly.

Here are some of the ways that influence is felt:

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Say what? The uppercut bus driver gets the boot…

I knew that this was going to happen sooner or later, Artis “the hit man”Hughes, infamously known around the country as the bus driver, who gave belligerent passenger, Shi’ dea Lane the TKO transfer off his bus, has gotten fired from his job. The 25 year transportation veteran was given his walking papers after it was found that he violated company policies. “The employee handbook says an employee can be discharged if he uses overt force, strikes … a member of the public,” Greater Cleveland Regional Transit Authority spokeswoman Mary Shaffer said in a public statement. “We understand he feels that his actions were in self-defense, but we disagree. The appropriate action should have been to pull over the bus and alert transit police and let them handle it.”

Insert appropriate “Oh h*ll naw” here, because if you don’t, then maybe I will…maybe. Seriously, are they really going to sit up there and try to explain away the fact that Ms. ” Shi’ has no home training” Lane didn’t deserve to get the “nana smack down”? Especially when she was the aggressor, and not to mention the initiator?! Again, I say oh h*ll naw.

Lane, 25, was seen spitting and choking Hughes in the September 18 incident, where she repeatedly spewed obscenities and derogatory words at the bus driver after he had threaten to remove her for the bus. Now, I know that there many opinions on the whole issue; some feeling that Lane deserved the response she received by Hughes, while others say that Hughes acted unprofessional. Uh, all those are nothing, but shoulda, coulda, woulda if you ask me! Yes, he could have handled it differently, but once she got physical, and the spit came flying! Oh no, but someone would’ve gotten arrested, and a wig would’ve been snatched off if that were me. Even the thought of it has got me rolling my eyes as I type this out, and sucking my teeth like my West Indian sistas.

Also, to add insult to injury Ms. “Shi’needs her a**  whooped” claims the altercation started over her looking for bus fare, and that she didn’t provoke Hughes at all…uh, no Ms. Shi’dead wrong for that, but we ALL saw the video, and poor guy was sitting there calmly until you, yes YOU wanted to get all peanut and precious on him, and he had no other alternative, but to Pillsbury dough your behind!!!!!!!!!! And what? She also went on to say…”It’s amazing to see how a man would hit a woman that hard. Are you serious? You could have pulled me off the bus. You can’t really touch anyone, but for real? You really punched me?” Lane told My Fox 8 News.

Did she really just say that?

Hughes was suspended prior to his termination and at a recent press conference he admitted that he is “disappointed” with the RTA’s decision.

“I feel let down,” Hughes said at a press conference. “I feel like they should support their drivers. I was just trying to do my job. … I’ve run over those events in my mind 1,000 times and I don’t know what I could have done differently.”

Uh nuh, although I’m upset to hear about this news, however I’m not surprised by it, because I knew the anvil was going to fall eventually. Now, I’m not saying that he should have hit, but then again she shouldn’t have put her hands on him either. Physical violence on ANYONE is not cool.
Well, hopefully he’ll find another occupation soon, and stay off the bus. For real.