I can’t sleep. So, what am I going to do? I’m going to read people on the events of Sunday, November 25, 2012…yeah, I had to get official with it.

So, first and foremost I need to put down my two cents on the Soul Train Awards. I, along with millions of my fellow melanin infused brethren watched, eyerolled, and probably danced to many, if not all of the performances of last night’s show. I’ll admit there were a lot highlights, but dammit if the lowlights didn’t want to make you scream bloody murder! Yes, people are going to get read to filth in this post, and although I’m all about positivity within my race, I’m not above  checkin people who need to be checked. Like big mama! ” I only beat ya’ cuz I luv ya!” So here is goes…

1. What was the whole point of having Billy Crystal in the intro of the show? It seemed so out-of-place like Ann Romney during praise and worship at a black Baptist church!

2. Is it me or was Bill Bellamy’s hairscalpaskull glowing last night!? I mean, it was glistening! Like Chris Rock said…”Throw some sand on him”

3. Everyone’s already commented on Miguel and his, um…look, but I’m shocked no one said anything about how his girlfriend was hanging AWL OVA him when he accepted the award for best r&b artist! It was like she wanted everyone to make sure dat a** was hers! Like she put a down payment on it, and waiting for the rebates to start coming in. Sheesh girl…calm down.

4. What’s the deal with Ne-yo and the white trench coats? Is he bringing back a newly envisioned version of the ‘Weather Girls-It’s Raining Men”? Also, I wanna know whose idea it was to have that dawn of the dead crowd pit next to the stage? They had to have been the most stoic crowd EVA!

5. Another huh? moment: the skit of Cedric w/ Donnie & Marie Osmond? o_O uh, yeah. Huh?

6. Too many and ill-timed commercial breaks!!!! I mean they were throwing those suckas in like the Superbowl! I was waiting to see a half-time show afterwards.

7. Who else is getting tired of Keyshia Cole and her “angry, bitter black woman” persona? I need more joy Keyshia! You’ve got a fine milk chocolate husband and a beautiful baby boy….See Ms. Celie, you’s has a pretty smile!

8. Sword swallower? Really? I would sooo loved to have been there when they asked her if she’d liked to do a trick on the show! Lmao I would’ve needed a few drinks in me to do that.

9. Why why why did they dust off Flava Flav and put him on stage? Poor Estelle and Mc Lyte looked traumatized. However, they handled it! Like champs! No Abilify needed. Pow!

10. I’m glad that New Edition were honored with the lifetime achievement award for a 30 yr career and all, but I’m mad, because that would mean my behind is how old?!!!!

11. Is it me or was Bobby Brown trying to recapture his career during their performance?! lol Just snatching the air–just snatching!

12. I wonder, is Quentin Tarantino scared that black people won’t go see Django? They were pimping that movie harder than a retired prostitute with yuck mouth and a wooden leg! And Jamie Foxx was almost begging–begging hard too, as if his whole entire career was riding on it ( maybe it is). It’s okay man…I’m sure people are going to see it for nothing other than to see DiCaprio acting all swarthy! lol

Whewwww…ok I’m done.

Now, what’s this croonery going on with Chris Brown spitting words of FIYA at this woman Jenny Johnson? Twitter was aflame involving the antics of said Ms. Brown (yes, I said Ms. Brown) getting all huffy about what Ms. Johnson posted on her twitter! I feel like I’m gossiping with my mother over what happened at last year’s welcoming ceremony @ church! lol OOoo lawd chile…Ms. Brown and Ms. Johnson are cussin each other again. He and Rihanna need Jesus and a seat. #phoreal

have a seat right here, next to me!

What were your huh? moments?